Dear friends I am in vacation this week, so I will give to you a few words of wisdom from a dear friend of Red Hore Spa enjoy it while I sumerge myself in the warms waters of Cancun.
The Dakota Indians of North America passed on this piece of wisdom from generation by word of mouth - "If you are riding a dead horse the best thing to do is dismount".
However in the corporate world specially @ Red Hore Spa and after 100 years and because of the heavy investment factor and other things to be tried, (but not limited to) our creative Management Team came up with:
New and improved Sparkling Diamond rules
to all the pretty horses
We have a stronger whip (Welcome Ms Cornflakes Zi-cu-cu to our team!!!
and plz don't touch her ass! ..." just puth them some nuttela to keep lokin shmooth "
We had change riders : Mss Free Will exit manager for Crack as Ashes AKA Grieta ( look at Spanish translation of Crack)
We are threaten the horses with termination or intimidation
We appoint a VIP committee to study the horses in catering meetings every week @ Mss Crack's office to decided which technician will work for free :nails,hair massages,facials all for free to the VIP team and their friends, family , boyfriends,landlords,pets.
Remind the horses about the privilege that is, to work for free on any VIP "team member"
We arrange visits to other sites to see how they ride dead horses
The team will get away 4 training with the Spa leads but only the ones that bend so far so they can kiss their own ass and ours!
We had lower the standards so dead or retire horses can be useful at laundry room to recycle dirty towels & sheets and wash them only after 5 uses after all we are a 5 star spa
We appoint an intervention team to reanimate the horses " we heard you, we care 4 you ( remember to smile while sticking the knife ) and we adjust your commission rates ,lower your salary by 12% "in the generous side "and please smile while you kiss our "donkey" be happy you still have a J O B
We create a training session to increase the riders shares and salaries ( a must attend training for all horses on their day off so horses won't get pay)
We reclassify the horse as `living impaired'
We change the forms so it reads "This horse is not dead"
We hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse ( Crack's idea for the 6 fl )
We had harness several dead horses together for increased speed and efficiency ( Are french horses a better to ride? or french toast tasted better ?je sui confused? Je ne ce qua?) ask Mss Crack she know how to ride a french horse...crazy me it wasn't a French horse it was a French poodle !!
We will donate the dead horse to a recognized charity therefore deducting its full original cost Red Hore Spa will save some $$$$ and fire more people .
We provide additional funding to increase horse's performance to Increase CEO,Manager-Directors salaries
Do you think they were saving 4 the horses ? You're so funny
We did a time management study to see if lighter horses would improve productivity ( That is why we cut 12% of your salary...no money no food)
We purshased an after market product that makes dead horses run faster, such as more rags to use as towels.
We declare the dead horse has lower overheads and is therefore more cost effective.. said what???
We form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses, Steak dinner any one?
We rewrite the performance requirements for horses Ms.Cornflakes Zi-cu-cu idea "Add more water to the products and only use 1 tbs per treatment"..I told you not 2 touch her ass? just "puth them som nuttela to keeph lokin shmooth "
and finally if all else fails.....promote a Donkey named Crack into a supervisory (management) position....
Congratulations Rah Rah Rah!!!
Our management team had reached new lows @the top.
At last our Red Hore Spa is a sparkling Diamond!!!
Thank you for all your hard work,and just like my dear friend Donald love to said: You're fire!
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