Dear friends I am in vacation this week, so I will give to you a few words of wisdom from a dear friend of Red Hore Spa enjoy it while I sumerge myself in the warms waters of Cancun.
The Dakota Indians of North America passed on this piece of wisdom from generation by word of mouth - "If you are riding a dead horse the best thing to do is dismount".
However in the corporate world specially @ Red Hore Spa and after 100 years and because of the heavy investment factor and other things to be tried, (but not limited to) our creative Management Team came up with:
New and improved Sparkling Diamond rules
to all the pretty horses
We have a stronger whip (Welcome Ms Cornflakes Zi-cu-cu to our team!!!
and plz don't touch her ass! ..." just puth them some nuttela to keep lokin shmooth "
We had change riders : Mss Free Will exit manager for Crack as Ashes AKA Grieta ( look at Spanish translation of Crack)
We are threaten the horses with termination or intimidation
We appoint a VIP committee to study the horses in catering meetings every week @ Mss Crack's office to decided which technician will work for free :nails,hair massages,facials all for free to the VIP team and their friends, family , boyfriends,landlords,pets.
Remind the horses about the privilege that is, to work for free on any VIP "team member"
We arrange visits to other sites to see how they ride dead horses
The team will get away 4 training with the Spa leads but only the ones that bend so far so they can kiss their own ass and ours!
We had lower the standards so dead or retire horses can be useful at laundry room to recycle dirty towels & sheets and wash them only after 5 uses after all we are a 5 star spa
We appoint an intervention team to reanimate the horses " we heard you, we care 4 you ( remember to smile while sticking the knife ) and we adjust your commission rates ,lower your salary by 12% "in the generous side "and please smile while you kiss our "donkey" be happy you still have a J O B
We create a training session to increase the riders shares and salaries ( a must attend training for all horses on their day off so horses won't get pay)
We reclassify the horse as `living impaired'
We change the forms so it reads "This horse is not dead"
We hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse ( Crack's idea for the 6 fl )
We had harness several dead horses together for increased speed and efficiency ( Are french horses a better to ride? or french toast tasted better ?je sui confused? Je ne ce qua?) ask Mss Crack she know how to ride a french horse...crazy me it wasn't a French horse it was a French poodle !!
We will donate the dead horse to a recognized charity therefore deducting its full original cost Red Hore Spa will save some $$$$ and fire more people .
We provide additional funding to increase horse's performance to Increase CEO,Manager-Directors salaries
Do you think they were saving 4 the horses ? You're so funny
We did a time management study to see if lighter horses would improve productivity ( That is why we cut 12% of your salary...no money no food)
We purshased an after market product that makes dead horses run faster, such as more rags to use as towels.
We declare the dead horse has lower overheads and is therefore more cost effective.. said what???
We form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses, Steak dinner any one?
We rewrite the performance requirements for horses Ms.Cornflakes Zi-cu-cu idea "Add more water to the products and only use 1 tbs per treatment"..I told you not 2 touch her ass? just "puth them som nuttela to keeph lokin shmooth "
and finally if all else fails.....promote a Donkey named Crack into a supervisory (management) position....
Congratulations Rah Rah Rah!!!
Our management team had reached new lows @the top.
At last our Red Hore Spa is a sparkling Diamond!!!
Thank you for all your hard work,and just like my dear friend Donald love to said: You're fire!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
May I help you?
Hello again my friends !
Someone ask me once how it was to work at the Red Hore Spa( yes, I missed the W )
Well I think the next "bedtime story" will explain the realities of working in a Flagship location, surrounded with the major players on a Fifth Ave location.
And the story goes....( I read this somewhere b4 not long ago)
One day while walking down the street on Fifth Ave a highly successful "want- a-Be " executive woman from a "Red Hore Spa" place was tragically hit by a bus and she died.
The staff scream .....and cheered from joy.
Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a manager from the "Red Hore Spa" ( Yes,Hore Is misspelled again ) any ways ...
"never once had a manager from the "Red Hore Spa" make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put this manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.
Wow! she was very impress
In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives from other Red Hore Spas ,that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.
They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner .Cheers!!
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute, too) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.
The Manager paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." It truly feels like home"
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and Filth
She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. " Welcome to our Company!
You had make the best decision"
I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable dirty and poor.
" The Devil looked at her and smiled. ... "
Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you're staff."
PS
Go ahead take a trip to The Red Hore Spa
Go first as a guest to this "sparkling Diamond facility" try to enjoy the amenities but remember we have no sauna or steam room the water is always cold the showers ,sheets and towels are usually dirty.
Red Hore Spa never have enough spa attendans ,this ladies get paid only minimun wage and take a maximum work overload.
The over tired, under paid technicians at Red Hore Spa just got a salary cut of 12% !!
"On the generous side" They usually have to use and reuse the sheets and towels. Remember to put on the light before jumping on that table. :-O
And please don't eat the veggie chips they're from the day b4 & stay uncover overnite yuck! The big spoon on the chips Never get washhhhhhhhhhh
After your day of beauty fill up an application, to join the team,just remember to come back 3 months later to let us know how do you like to be part of the STAFF
...Welcome to Red Hore may I help you?....
Someone ask me once how it was to work at the Red Hore Spa( yes, I missed the W )
Well I think the next "bedtime story" will explain the realities of working in a Flagship location, surrounded with the major players on a Fifth Ave location.
And the story goes....( I read this somewhere b4 not long ago)
One day while walking down the street on Fifth Ave a highly successful "want- a-Be " executive woman from a "Red Hore Spa" place was tragically hit by a bus and she died.
The staff scream .....and cheered from joy.
Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a manager from the "Red Hore Spa" ( Yes,Hore Is misspelled again ) any ways ...
"never once had a manager from the "Red Hore Spa" make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put this manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.
Wow! she was very impress
In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives from other Red Hore Spas ,that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.
They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner .Cheers!!
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute, too) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.
The Manager paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." It truly feels like home"
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and Filth
She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. " Welcome to our Company!
You had make the best decision"
I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable dirty and poor.
" The Devil looked at her and smiled. ... "
Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you're staff."
PS
Go ahead take a trip to The Red Hore Spa
Go first as a guest to this "sparkling Diamond facility" try to enjoy the amenities but remember we have no sauna or steam room the water is always cold the showers ,sheets and towels are usually dirty.
Red Hore Spa never have enough spa attendans ,this ladies get paid only minimun wage and take a maximum work overload.
The over tired, under paid technicians at Red Hore Spa just got a salary cut of 12% !!
"On the generous side" They usually have to use and reuse the sheets and towels. Remember to put on the light before jumping on that table. :-O
And please don't eat the veggie chips they're from the day b4 & stay uncover overnite yuck! The big spoon on the chips Never get washhhhhhhhhhh
After your day of beauty fill up an application, to join the team,just remember to come back 3 months later to let us know how do you like to be part of the STAFF
...Welcome to Red Hore may I help you?....
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